Hey mommas. Today I want to discuss something that I have been struggling with. I hope that by sharing one of my biggest struggles, so far, other moms-to-be feel a little less like I do. Alone.
Doctors and everyone else make it a priority to discuss postpartum depression. They give you and your partner all the signs and emphasize how important it is to be on the lookout. Postpartum depression is super common. With surging hormones, we really can’t help it. But, does anyone really talk about prenatal depression? I have yet to hear my doctor discuss depression or anxiety that may come with the hormone changes of actually being pregnant. These hormone changes, coupled with depression and anxiety are real. What I’m experiencing is not just pre-baby jitters.
What I’m talking about is the all-consuming sadness that rattles my inner being more often than I want to admit. After some brief research, this can happen. It’s not as uncommon as we think. Much like the extreme hormone changes that take place after you have your baby, extreme hormone changes are taking place while you are growing your baby. These feelings of depression just seem a little harder to accept. And much harder to admit. The guilt I feel for being sad is almost as bad, if not worse than actually being sad. Why do I feel guilty? I’m supposed to be overjoyed about being a mom and all the things that come with that. Am I not? This is supposed to be some of the happiest times of my life.
Now, let’s not turn a blind eye to the fact that I am truly excited to meet my baby. This baby had been a blessing to us from the day we saw two pink lines. But sometimes, it’s hard to see the good when it’s clouded by anxiety of whats to come. Every day, I have to tell myself that these feelings are completely normal. They don’t make me an automatic bad mom. They definitely don’t mean that I don’t love my baby with everything I have. These feelings ONLY mean that my body is going through a lot of big changes in a short amount of time.
So, to the mommas-to-be out there who aren’t experiencing this, keep living your best life girl! I am so happy for you. To the mommas-to-be who are experiencing this, you are not alone. These are normal feelings to have. When you need to discuss your feelings with someone who understands, I and tons of other moms are waiting with an open invitation. Please, always remember, if you do get to a point where the bad days outweigh the good, please talk to your doctor. Reaching out or getting help does not show weakness, it shows strength. And momma, you are strong.